You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
