New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Randomize
