Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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