is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
