curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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