I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
