cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
