this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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