yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
