I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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