Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
