I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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