he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
