My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
