there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
