Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
