First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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