I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
