Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
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Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
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You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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