just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
