chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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