That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
This is classic penis vs brain.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
