Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
