well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
