Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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