What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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