so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
