it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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