No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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