get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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