Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
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I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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