I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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