My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
