You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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