Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My dick has a subreddit
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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