I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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