He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
