I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
