I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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