The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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