May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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