well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
