if only i could text you this smell
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
