remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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