Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?

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(269): View more from Michigan

I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.

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(310): View more from California

A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you

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(949): View more from California

Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.

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(914): View more from New York

I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.

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(206): View more from Washington

listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you

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