Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.