and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
