You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?