hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.