ADVERTISEMENT

• (740): View more from Ohio

  he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?

  Fav 42 1494 4346

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"

  Fav 30 9630 1570

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (989): View more from Michigan

  We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.

  Fav 23 5426 1022

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?

  Fav 12 4078 900

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.

  Fav 12 1389 3761

  share tweet
  

• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.

  Fav 1 1547 2066

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.

  Fav 12 3285 973

  share tweet
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.

  Fav 6 2297 1026

  share tweet
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday

  Fav 2 1004 491

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.

  Fav 2 769 527

  share tweet
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.

  Fav 4 592 748

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (281): View more from Texas

  This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants

  Fav 3 802 439

  share tweet
  

• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.

  Fav 4 491 596

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"

  Fav 2 361 180

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on

  Fav 9 619 103

  share tweet
  

Randomize