If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
