She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
