I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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