Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
