that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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