I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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