I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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