hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
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Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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