found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
