duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
