Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
