That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
