Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
