We won't sleep together?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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