I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
