I'm really into asian looking animals
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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