sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I party with great urgency now.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
