I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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