girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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