So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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