i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
